I'm a Horrible Christian

~First of all, I loose focus. When I'm trying to pray, read my Bible or do devotions, my mind wanders to other places. I lose focus on what is right in front of me. Even though I want to read my Bible and listen to what God has to say, a lot of times it feels like He isn't there.

It feels like I'm alive, and that God is still working, but I'm just floating in the water. 

Source

~I mess up, a lot. I continually sin. Even though I ask for forgiveness of the sins I've committed, I still continue to sin. Because I want to please God and follow Him, I don't give into temptation frequently. It does happen though, and I'm a horrible Christian for doing that. 

We sin so easily: I'll think in my mind, I'm not seeking God as diligently as other people, I'm not as good in loving others as that person." But then can't that be considered jealously? It's a continual cycle in my mind some days. 

I've spent many years seeking the Lord and growing closer to Him. I know that I've made progress since when I started many years ago as a young teen, but I feel like I haven't progressed.

Obviously it's a lifetime process and we will never be perfect, but sometimes I feel stuck.

But there's hope.

It's not about being a "Christian".

It's not about being good enough, and comparing yourself to other people.

It has to be about your own relationship with Christ, and paying attention to your relationship with Him. 

It's about CHRIST. It's about His death on the cross, and His grace in our lives. It's not our doing: it's His work in our lives. 

Other people's relationships with Christ can be reminders that we should be pursuing Him. They can be an encouragement to be reading our Bible. 

But each and every person has a "different" relationship with Christ. It looks different for each individual. Talking to God about how we feel in this area can be very important. Asking Him to show us His glory and grow us closer to Him, and being willing to change if necessary. That's what it can look like. Yet, it doesn't look the same for each person. 

So when you start talking or thinking about how you are a horrible Christian, remember it's not about you. It's about Christ, and how He is working in your life. You can try as hard as you want, but you'll never become who God wants you to be...without God. 

Without Christ, we are all horrible Christians. So many people call themselves Christians, where there is no personal relationship with Him. They are the ones that don't understand that we cannot do anything in our own strength.

Psalm 63:1, "You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water."