March 24, 2015

All About Guys Q&A

I have probably 7 guy friends total, with all but one or two from youth group, and so I have so much to learn, but I've had a lot of you wanting a post handling stuff related to guys. I want to take one or two posts, to answer and talk about guy related stuff. 


Just like girls, who tend to be dramatic, emotional and just weird at times, guys can come across  as annoying, as jerks or as brats to girls. None of these things are true...for the majority of guys anyway. Some guys are real jerks and don't treat girls the right way, and sometimes their actions really are confusing, but girls can be the same way. Each guy is different, and sometimes when we expect something, we get angry. That's mainly how many girls get hurt by them; unrealistic expectations (there are other reasons as well). 
The first thing I want to mention is that godly guys are the guy friends you want to surround yourself with. Guys from a public school are fine and I do have about two guy friends at school, but they are just super different from Christian guys. It's easier to have a conversation and understand guys if you have that common bond of Christ. It's not good to completely separate yourself from guys, either way, because when it comes to real life, you have to deal with them. 
Especially when it comes to dating, non-Christians should not be on our list. 
In 2 Corinthians 6:14 it says, "Don't become partners with those who reject God. How can you make a partnership out of right and wrong?" 
I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with someone who doesn't love Jesus! 
A lot of girls also find it hard to just be friends with a guy. This is something that even college age girls and all adults struggle with. It's so extremely hard sometimes, especially when we just want things to move along! 
In middle school I was pretty boy crazy. Each person has different things that they struggle with, and something that God has used to draw people closer to Himself. This is what it was for me, and so I've learned a lot of things from older girls (many of them have graduated now, or are seniors) and older women (either in person or through books) with how to deal with different stuff, along with a lot of prayer. I've come a long way, but of course, there's so much more to learn and things I know I will encounter in the future. Mistakes have been made and I have learned so many wonderful lessons from some of my guy friends. God has helped me a lot in this area, and is something that might come up as I answer questions.  

Reading this, what are some questions you would like me to try and answer? If any of you would like to leave a comment with your input/ideas on guys, please do that as well, and I will probably include it in the post! 
You can start asking questions, and depending on how many questions I get, I might have to do this in two waves.
Spring break is coming up, which may pose either an advantage or a challenge in getting these posts up, but hopefully I will get the first set of questions up by Saturday the 28th. The sooner you comment your questions, the more time that I will have to answer them! 

Your questions can be as personal as you want, either for what I think/have done personally in my own life, or something that has occurred in your life. If you want to leave your questions anonymous, feel free to do so, or just mention in the comment that you would like certain details to be left out when the question is answered in the post. I've had some very vague topics about guys that have been mentioned that I should do, but of course, it can be hard to answer vague questions.
If all else fails, I will just answer some of the broad questions I have gotten about how to be just friends with a guy. 
I can't wait to see your questions and answer them :) 

11 comments:

  1. Lauren, you have a lot of really good things to say about guys! I'm looking forward to hearing the rest of your thoughts on this subject. I can't say that I have any questions right now but we'll see.

    Guy friendships are so important especially friendships with godly young men. I grew up in an environment where I was surrounded by guys who loved Jesus and treated their sisters in Christ with respect and kindness, real gentlemen. My first real exposure to guys who didn't know Jesus didn't happen until I went to college (I was home schooled).

    I was disappointed because I'm the kind of person who wants to be friends with everyone, but you're so right that as Christians, it's hard to connect with people who don't know Jesus. It's like they can't ever really understand what you need.

    Dani,
    Blogger at a vapor in the wind

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  2. Hey Lauren! This post literally came out at the PERFECT time for me, because there has been a lot of drama in my life lately. So I have a question. What do you do if a guy friend likes you, but you don't return the feeling? I have a lot of friends who have struggled with this recently and I'd love your opinion.

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  3. Guy friends... let me just say I'm weird in the sense that as I grew up, I was surrounded more around guys, thus i had more guy friends, all because of the martial arts setting I grew up with. All of these points you made about guys are true. Some things that girls should know about guys is that they sometimes have this weird problem that thinking that being seen with some of their girl SPACE friends (I had to do that) can be embarrassing around guys, so it has to be kept in mind.

    I saw the comment that you gave to Grace above, and let me tell you that I had to deal with that several times, when a guy friends has some feelings for you that you don't harbor and return back. What I did is that though I do appreciate them as a friend, I don't return the same feelings, but just because I'm not romantically involved with them doesn't mean this relationship that we have should change. What I'm saying is that I value them as a friend, but that's it, and I hope that doesn't change that fact. Though it may not always be the case, my guy friends do respect that. We're still friends; in fact, they follow me on Instagram and visa versa. Now they're dating someone else, and I'm completely supportive and respect their choices. They may be disappointed that I turned them down, but I know that there will be someone out there that they could love. ^.^

    xoxo Morning

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  4. Hey Lauren!
    Love this. Keep your heart turned towards Christ and ask for wisdom. He WILL give wisdom or guidance in every situation, undoubtedly!
    I struggled with guys in high school. I had many popular guy friends and was always asked out to dances. I thought I knew it all about guys and relationships, but I clearly didn't based off of some of the guys I went out with. ;) There was a lot of drama and confusion, and after high school I turned that area over to the Lord.
    I asked God for wisdom in that area of my life, and I am so glad of that, because Mason isn't the kind of guy I would have dated in high school. ;) He is AMAZING and we balance each other out perfectly.
    Please, please understand this: No matter how you court or date or how "good" of a person you are, absolutely nothing you do will pave the road for a perfect marriage. While I don't fully agree with the courtship approach, the main issue I see is that newlyweds will be very disappointed when their marriage isn't perfect.
    Have a lovely day!

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  5. This is such a broad topic... there's so much I could say!
    I myself have been through a lot with this particular subject, and have learned MUCH in this area over the course of the last couple years. I too have made mistakes and lost some friends because of my immaturity, but recently I think I've found the secret to being "just friends" with a guy. It all lies in the objective of your friendship.

    If your objective is to push each other towards Christ, you can't go wrong.

    Of course, it has to be both sided. If this is your goal along with his goal in the friendship, then that will make a solid friendship, because it is based on the right things. I personally am dealing with this right now, as we have the thought of dating in the future, but as for right now, this is our objective, and I realized the other day how incredibly solid our friendship had already become. He said to me "You know what, I think we could date and break up 100 times, and we'd still be friends." Why? Because our friendship isn't based off of feelings and emotions and temporary things. No, it's based off of Christlike love for the other person, and our objective is to simply propel the other towards Christ.

    There is so much I have left to learn, but this is just recently what I've been learning. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog! I've been looking to meet some bloggers who are similar to me, and your blog looks like just that! Definitely following back :)

    Molly Marie
    mollyslittlecorner.blogspot.com

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  6. What do you do if you really, really like a guy but he's not Christian? What if you've known him for years?

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  7. Hi Lauren,
    Well, I am not old enough to like boys yet, but I would just like to know what you think about this: have you ever had a boy like you? If so, how do you know he did? And, what age do you think is appropriate to start liking boys and thinking about courtship/marriage?

    Do you have anyone you like?
    Do you think it's wise for a young lady to wait till 20 to start courting?
    Thanks for doing this post!
    And thank you for leaving a comment on my blog!! :)
    Love in Christ,
    Ashley
    creatingpreciousmoments.blogspot.com

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  8. hey!! Loved our SC convo about this. Asking this more so that it's addressed instead of for my own questionings. :)

    I'm wondering, where the heck is the middle ground between paranoid courting and being raped/entering an abusive relationship? I feel like we hear stories about both and never the middle. If course, most everyone I know is happily dating or engaged or married by means of dating, but do you know what I mean?!
    Someone once told me that most all conservative Christian dating could fit under the courtship category. I love thinking of it like that! While awful stuff does happen in our communities that we are not aware of, we shouldn't let that fear get too gripped on us. I definitely see that happening!!

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  9. wow so true!
    I've only had one guy thing happen to me so far (or should I say boy? :) it was when I was 8 (I'm 14 now) he was 7 and kept trying to kiss me (Yuck! :) but he didn't 'cause my older siblings were 'protecting' me :) I've never had a guy like me, but I've grown up with 3 wild older brothers and sometimes I wish I could hang out with boys as just friends but I'm literally isolated where I live and don't get out much...+ I'm very very shy where it's so hard to talk to strangers.
    But the house where my dad is living, the lady that is letting him live there has an 8 year old son who I think has a crush on me and my younger sister.
    question: How do you make friends with boys/guys without making it look like you have a crush on them?

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  10. Oh wow, Lauren... I loved this post so much. As for questions, eh, not really. But I can't wait for the second part and good job :)

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  11. Wow, this was fab! Its a great thing what you're doing here, like, I can definitely relate to a lot of what you've said! One thing that I find as girls, is that we tend to, almost rely on guys to give us our self worth and identity, as in, we continually have this need of acceptance and importance, something that I guess I'm still learning, is that the only place we should be seeking fulfilment or acceptance is in God.. and I def struggle heaps with this one, is self worth... Wow, loved this post!

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