Guy Questions {Part 1}

Before I begin answering the questions, take time listening to some comments I got on my previous post!
"Keep your heart turned towards Christ and ask for wisdom. He WILL give you wisdom or guidance in every situation, undoubtedly! ... No matter how you court or date or how "good" of a person you are, aboslutely nothing you do will pave the road for the perfect marriage." -Lissa McClelland

"Guy friendships are so important especially friendships with godly young men." -Danielle Fisher

"Recently I think I've found the secret to being "just friends" with a guy. It all lies in the objective of your friendship. If you objective is to push each other towards Christ, you can't go wrong. Of course, it has to be both sided. If this is your goal along with his goal in the friendship, then that will make a solid friendship, because it is based on the right things. I personally am dealing with this right now, as we have the thought of dating in the future, but as for right now, this is our objective, and I realized the otehr day how incredibly solid our friendship had already become. He said to be, 'You know what, I think we could date and break up 100 times, and we'd still be friends.' Why? Because our friendship isn't based off of feelings and emotions and temporary things. No, it's based off of Christlike love for the other person, and our objective is simply to propel the other towards Christ." -Molly Marie

• This question comes from Grace Johnson who asked, "What do you do if a guy friend likes you, but you don't return the feeling?

A guy will either tell you he likes you, or you might have figured out from a friend/it’s obvious. So here’s how to deal with each of those different situations:

When he tells you: It can be hard to come up with what to say right at the moment but just remember that either way, the guy is probably going to be upset if you don’t like him. That is NOT your fault at all, and don’t try to force yourself to like the guy so that he doesn't feel bad. There are a lot of super nice guys out there that might like you, but you just aren't going to feel the same way, and that’s okay. 

The best thing to say is something along the lines of, “I don’t feel the same way, but I still want to be friends.”  

The most important thing to remember is to be kind about it and be really respectful of their feelings, but also of your own (don’t lie or try to make yourself like them).

If a friend tells you/it’s obvious without saying anything:

 Don’t start ignoring someone! Treat them the same way you would treat anyone else. However, don’t be over-friendly or flirty. You don’t want to lead a guy on, and it could come across that way if you are even just trying to create a stronger friendship.
Just treat them the same way you did before :)

Morning also shared her thoughts on this subject:
"What I did is that though I do appreciate them as a friend, I don't return the same feelings, but just because I'm not romantically involved with them doesn't mean this relationship that we have should change. What I'm saying is that I value them as a friend, but that's it, and I hope that doesn't change the fact." 

This question comes from an anonymous reader: "What do you do if you really, really like a guy but he's not a Christian? What if you've known him for years?"

This can be really really hard. If you are seriously wanting/thinking something will happen, you have to evaluate which is more important; liking this guy who may not know Christ, or wanting and waiting for a guy who loves Christ. Even though it can be hard since you trust someone if you've known them for your whole life, but in my opinion, I would rather wait for someone who loves the Lord and who would be a spiritual leader. I can't imagine not having the common bond of believing in Christ, but the momentary feeling of someone, even if they aren't a believer can be appeasing, but in the long term it would be extremely hard for you to connect with them in that way. 

These questions come from Ashley: "Have you ever had a boy like you? If so, how do you know he did? And, what age do you think it is appropriate to start liking boys and thinking about courtship/marriage? Do you think it's wise for a young lady to wait until 20 to start courting?"

Well, one likes me right now actually, and it's super obvious, but I also know he does because one of my friends found out. I'm not supposed to know except that it's so obvious. It's really obvious and it's adorable, and I really like him as a person, but first I don't know where his relationship with Christ stands since he is a catholic (goes to my public school though), and I'm not really not going to date anyone for a long time. I'd like to wait until I'm at least a senior, but honestly I really don't want to have to deal with a relationship in high school, so I'd love to wait until college. I know that dating as a junior and/or a senior works for some people, but if that comes up for me, there will be a lot of praying involved.
Okay so as far as crushes go, middle school is probably the time where you will not purposely start liking guys, and that's just part of being a girl. I don't really think that there's an "appropriate" time...it just happens and how you deal with that is important. And if you're anything like me, that can start to become an idol in your life. Spending these teenage years getting to know the Lord is the most important thing to do. As far as marriage/dating goes, I would say that you shouldn't be thinking about that until you are 17 or 18, but high school dating can be really weird. College separates a lot of people anyway and most people don't get married to their high school sweetheart.
Okay, so I'm familiar with both courting and dating methods, and personally, I don't personally believe in the process of courting as the way to go. It's ultimately not about what you call it, but with what you do in the relationship. So anyway, I can't give an answer on what age is wise to start dating/courting, but I think that 17-20 is the time that dating can be in the forefront of your mind. A lot of people aren't ready for a relationship when they are 18 or 19 though, and it honestly depends on the person and where their relationship with Christ is. 

There's one topic I've been asked to discuss in the next post from Ty and also a question from DJ-wolf Addy, so if you have anything else you want to add or any other questions, please them below, and thank you everyone for leaving your questions! I hope you were encouraged or challenged some way through these answers.