The Truth About Friendship

I've done two other posts on the subject of friendships, and they have gained a lot of interest.

Lessons I've Learned From My Friends and Importance of Friendships have both gained over 100 views each. 

There's so much more to friendship and friends than what is on the surface. 

I'm definitely no expert, but hopefully you will learn something from this post.  

Friendships are complex, and the closer that you grow to someone, the more complicated these relationships seem to get.

1. Friendships are often about the conversation not the commitment. 

When someone seriously cares about their friend, they will be willing to do anything for you.

A story I heard the other day was about a woman who knew that the person her best friend was dating was NOT the guy for her. She prayed about it, and knew she needed to tell her friend this information. She was more concerned about the well-being of her friend, than she was about the friendship lasting forever. She risked the "friendship", because she cared so much about her friend. 

So many people become friends with people just because they want people to talk to, and I'll admit I probably do the same thing. Not every friend I talk to is gonna be someone I would die for...and I think that's okay. But make sure you aren't just making a friend out of "boredom". 

If you truly want to grow close to someone, be willing to be there for them in the long run.

2. The most important characteristic of a friendship is being vulnerable, and keeping secrets.

When you become close to a person, the last thing you would ever do would tell someone their secrets. If a friend doesn't keep your secrets and isn't vulnerable back, then that's not going to be someone you will want to make your best friend. Friendships can't be built and grown if one person doesn't feel comfortable sharing real deep information.

3. People may be different than they appear on the surface.

When you first meet someone, they aren't going to flat out be who they really are. It makes sense. I'm not just going to start being my true self around a group of people I'm not well acquainted with. 

When you get to know someone better, you may realize that they aren't the person you should be spending a lot of time with. Maybe they aren't a bad person, but you may realize that their disrespectfulness rubs off on you, or you don't quite feel safe when you are around them. Whatever the case may be, these might be the friends that you don't grow super close to. Never assume things about people either. 

4. Get advice from wise friends. 

Often we go to a bunch of friends and ask them the same question. Make sure you don't ask 100 friends the same question, just so you can get the answer you want 15 times. What you need might not be what you want to hear. This has happened to me before, and sometimes it's hard to come to the reality that what you want to hear, isn't the truth. That wouldn't be honest of your best friend, and God uses those around us to tell us what we need to hear. 

5. Keep your relationships open to the Lord, and pray over them. 

You never know how God may use certain people in your life, and he changes and grows people in amazing ways. So you never know how someone else may change, or how you may be changed for the better through someone else. 

And ultimately, give them over to the Lord. Sometimes we get so caught up in our friendships that they become idols. The Lord is always going to be our closest friend. 

It's always best to choose a few close friends over many acquaintances!